


Taffy Butt Part Deux

by SaraJaye



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Abandoned Factory, Adventure, Gen, Humor, Louise the Nightmare Fetishist, Slice of Life, Treasure Hunting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 18:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It turned out Taff was full of gold bars. But now the kids have a chance to find something even better in an abandoned snack cake factory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taffy Butt Part Deux

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chocolateowls](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=chocolateowls).



Apparently, Taff had been full of gold bars. That was the rumor going around after some surfers found him washed up on the beach, but the lab had snatched him up and there was no way the kids were going to get their hands on the treasure. Of course Louise threw a fit and blamed her siblings, Tina bemoaned the fact that she was wrong about the journey being the treasure and Gene whined that they'd never see another factory shaped like a butt again.

Three weeks later, Teddy drew them another treasure map that didn't look like anything. So the kids knew it had to be real, why would Teddy bother drawing a map that didn't look like a butt or a penis or boobies?

So once again they rounded up Jimmy Jr., Zeke, Andy and Ollie and set out for the abandoned snack cake factory. Maybe this time there would be a whole case of gold bars...or real money that they could buy cool things with! And maybe share with Mom and Dad.

"Cool, there's broken machines everywhere!" Louise squealed. "Maybe there's missing body parts in some of them! Hey, you think if we find a body part we can get some money for it?"

"Why would anyone buy a gross old body part?" Tina asked.

"I dunno! Maybe some doctor or mad scientist would wanna study it!"

"I hope we find some old snack cakes! Then we can eat 'em!" Gene piped up. So far it wasn't too exciting, just an old office with a broken computer and a bunch of junk lying around. Tina thought she'd stumbled on a secret diary, but it turned out to be a book of bank receipts. Zeke found a stash of old porn magazines and stuffed them under his shirt.

Then they walked into the heart of the factory and there were plenty of machines, at least. Louise immediately ran to inspect them, hoping to find at least some trace of blood.

"Damn, nothing!" she spat. "Just a bunch of old packing junk."

"I wonder if anyone's ever tried to dance on the conveyor belt," Tina mused, trying to start a conversation with Jimmy Jr. Her crush grinned, taking that as a dare, and did a grand jete atop the belt...only to slip and land in a box full of bubble wrap.

"I tried," he said. Tina blanched.

"Oh no, are you hurt? I'm so sorry, Jimmy Jr."

"Are there cakes in there?" Gene asked. Andy and Ollie suddenly let out a scream and everyone turned to the machine Louise was inspecting.

"Look! It's a body!"

"Woah!" Everyone made a mad dash to check it out and Louise shoved Ollie underneath. There was a dead body all right: the body of a giant bug. Which was still pretty gross-looking.

"But it's not that exciting," Louise grumbled. "Come on, maybe there's stuff in the other rooms."

It wasn't until they hit the upper floor that Tina found a real secret diary and Zeke found a wallet. It didn't have any money in it, but it was still a wallet and Louise pounced on it.

"What's in the diary? Is it about farts?" Gene asked.

"Oh..." Tina flipped to a random page. "Um, it's about some cake packer's crush on the owner. Wow." She turned to look at Jimmy Jr. and blushed. "Er, I guess-"

"So it's just a bunch of boring crap." Louise took it and threw it against the wall. "C'mon, we're wasting time! Maybe there's a _real_ diary about ghosts and demons and murder!"

Luckily, this factory wasn't being torn down so the kids had more time to explore. Zeke came away with more porn magazines, Jimmy Jr. found a pair of shoes hiding under a desk, Tina pocketed the diary for herself, Andy and Ollie found old gum wrappers and Louise did eventually find some money: a jar of pennies. Which was probably only worth about three bucks, but it was money and maybe she could give it to Dad.

Maybe.


End file.
